Navigating the Manager Role During Perimenopause: My Journey Balancing Responsibilities Amidst Cognitive Changes

Being a manager is no easy task on any given day. Juggling multiple responsibilities, leading a team, and staying organized are already demanding. However, as perimenopause kicked in, I found myself facing a unique set of challenges. In fact, I came close to throwing in the towel several times, truly believing that at a certain point in life, we women can’t have it all. In this blog post I want to share the difficulties I encountered as a manager during perimenopause, and how I overcame them.

Cognitive Changes during Perimenopause

Perimenopause, the transition leading up to menopause, brought about more than just physical symptoms as I entered into my 40s. Hormonal fluctuations affected my cognitive function, leading to memory lapses, difficulty concentrating, and reduced mental clarity. As a manager, this posed a significant hurdle, as my role required me to retain a wealth of information and make important decisions. I began to wonder if I was cut out for management at all, how anyone could respect such a poor performer, and how long would it be before everyone around me noticed.

Staying organized had always been a cornerstone of my managerial success, but perimenopause made this task more challenging. Memory lapses and struggles with concentration meant I was missing deadlines, not finishing tasks, and forgetting to show up to meetings - even those I had organised myself. It was so unlike me. The constant mental fog left me feeling embarrassed, inadequate, overwhelmed and frustrated. My confidence took a huge dive.

Building strong relationships with my team members was something I really prided myself on. I was the type who really cared about each and every one of them. Remembering to ask my team about their career aspirations, kids, dogs, or hobbies each time we had a 1:1 really fostered a sense of trust and support. However, perimenopause made it harder for me to remember these details, which lead to a disconnect and a perception that I just didn’t care anymore.

In addition to the perimenopause, I was also navigating the joys and demands of raising small children. Sleepless nights, constant interruptions, and the emotional and physical demands of parenting added another layer of complexity to my already busy life. Managing my cognitive changes while ensuring my children's well-being required exceptional adaptability and resilience. There were times when I felt stretched thin and guilty for not being able to give my full attention to either my professional or personal role.

Coping Strategies

After chatting it through with friends, I decided to give it one last shot. I’d worked too hard and come too far to just give up a job and career I loved. It was time to employ some coping strategies my older and wiser pals shared with me.

‌First of all, I decided to discuss my experiences with perimenopause openly. Sharing my challenges with my superiors and HR department led to increased awareness and understanding. It also opened the door to implementing supportive policies and flexible working arrangements.

‌I learned to prioritize self-compassion, seeking support from my partner, family, and friends, and creating a flexible schedule that allowed me to fulfill my responsibilities as a manager and be present for my children. I set realistic expectations for myself, recognizing that I couldn't do it all perfectly and that asking for help was not a sign of weakness but rather a strength.

Taking care of myself became a priority. I prioritized adequate sleep, regular exercise, a healthy diet, and meditation. These practices helped improve my cognitive function and overall well-being.

I learned to prioritize tasks, focusing on the most critical responsibilities. Delegating tasks to capable team members relieved some of the burdens and ensured that nothing fell through the cracks.

But what really saved me in my day-to-day was technology. I tried out many tools - calendars, to-do lists, everything, to replace my once razor-sharp memory. Cheerlead - because of its all-in-one nature, was the one that stuck. It became my calendar, my project manager, my personal assistant. It told me what to do each day, when I had meetings, and kept all my 1:1 notes to hand. And most importantly, it held all those personal pieces of information that I needed to remember about each team member, so I could get back to being an empathetic and supportive manager.

In conclusion, navigating perimenopause while managing a team was undoubtedly challenging, but I learned to accept that these changes were a natural part of life. By acknowledging the cognitive challenges and implementing coping strategies, I was able to continue leading effectively while prioritizing my well-being. I truly believe organizations play a crucial role in supporting their managers by fostering a culture of empathy, providing flexible work arrangements, and ensuring open communication channels. But it’s up to us women to speak up, tell them what we’re going through, and ask for help - whether that’s a subscription to a tool like Cheerlead that can help on a practical level, or flexible working arrangements. Speak up and it will help you, and help to create a supportive working environment for other women in your org. After all, we all deserve to thrive in leadership roles, throughout all stages of life.